


War Games

by PineconeTrinklebriar



Series: Nightlights [7]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Horrorfell (Undertale), Angst, Captains of the Royal Guard Competition, Capture the Flag, Cute, Empath, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Horrortale Papyrus (Undertale), Horrortale Sans (Undertale), Just a little angst, M/M, Mages, Mild Language, Snowball Fight, Soul Problem, Swapfell Papyrus (Undertale), Swapfell Sans (Undertale), Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Sans (Undertale), Underswap Papyrus (Undertale), Underswap Sans (Undertale), right at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28620483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PineconeTrinklebriar/pseuds/PineconeTrinklebriar
Summary: There's no need for the Royal Guard on the Surface. There certainly isn't any need for three former captains of the Royal Guards, all living peacefully in the same universe. Finding out who is the ultimate former captain is entirely unnecessary... Until a movie night argument turns into a battle of the titans with the three former captains facing off to win the most intense game of capture the flag ever played. Oh, and you're the referee.
Relationships: Papyrus/Papyrus (Undertale), Sans (Undertale)/Reader, Sans/Sans (Undertale)
Series: Nightlights [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1994629
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	War Games

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all. This was the hardest thing to write! I loved the idea and then figured out that I am terrible at 'fight scenes'. I literally made multiple maps so that I could picture what was going on well enough to write this. It took me forrrrever! But here it is, a fun snow adventure with lots of cute and a bit of angst mixed in for flavor. I hope you enjoy! (I will include the maps at the end for your viewing pleasure)

The morning started bloody early and only the promise of coffee was enough to draw you from your bed. Well, coffee and the insistent tugs of your boyfriend. He provided you with coffee and sort of helped dress you in warm clothes when you moved too slowly. He even made you a breakfast burrito, so that was almost worth it. Almost.

You were sitting on top of your Jeep, eating your burrito, and watching the troops assemble. Exactly half of the skeletons gathering around you looked like they’d been forced out of bed just like you. The other half looked overly awake; Papyrus, Hobbes, and Jupiter each looked like they were absolutely thrilled to be alive, while Edge, Blue, and Sans were eyeing one another suspiciously. Each of their brothers was nearly unconscious.

Mars was missing; he was the teleporter sent to the gate to pick up your special guest (who was also the reason that you had a second Sans-prepared coffee and burrito sitting in your Jeep). You were halfway through your burrito when Mars popped into existence with your friend Anne on his arm. "Holy crap!" she yelped as she staggered. He caught her arm so she didn't fall. "That was buckwild!"

Mars grinned at her. "What can I say? I use it to a- _ void _ walkin' whenever I can."

"Boo," Anne said. "But thanks for the lift!" She turned and dashed towards your Jeep, leaving a bemused looking Mars in her wake. "Hey, goldfish, nice ride!"

"Thank you, thank you. Her name is Talula."

"Howdy there, Talula." She accepted the burrito and coffee gratefully, but her level of enthusiasm definitely fit more into the ‘energetic skeletons’ category than the ‘lazy’ one. The two of you nearly mirrored the skeletal sets of siblings, what with you looking just as tired as the lazy brothers and her smiling like a maniac.

“Hello Friend Anne!” Jupiter called excitedly. “I am so glad you were able to join us today!”

“Hey Jupes,” she said around her burrito. “How’s the hospital treatin’ ya?”

“It’s wonderful! Just last week I was able to perform my first exorcism!”

You opened your mouth to ask what the hell he meant by that, but Edge rudely interrupted you with an impatient, "Can we please get started?" 

You shot him a Look before standing and stretching. “Everyone here?” you asked, biting back a yawn.

“Are you expecting any other skeletons to show up?” Sans asked in that sweet voice he liked to use when he was being an asshole.

“You know, that only works if other skeletons don’t sometimes magically appear in this universe,” you pointed out with a meaningful look at Neo and Hobbes, to which he just shrugged. You pushed yourself up so that you were standing on the hood of the Jeep, stretched, and then began your speech, though without the index cards that Edge had tried to press into your hands when he arrived. “Alright boys,” you said. Standing on your hood made you taller than them, which was a super weird experience for you. “Welcome to the Captain’s Capture the Flag Competition of Champions!” 

“Who approved that name?” Sans grumbled.

“Hush. I know your captains have gone over the ground rules, but please allow me to remind you.” There was some mumbling-under-the-breath from the lazier brothers. Apparently the captains had been  _ very thorough _ in explaining the rules. “First, and most importantly, this is for fun! That means that no one will be injured. If you knock any HP off of anyone including yourself, you will be benched for 30 minutes. We are  _ especially _ careful about not hitting the socket of skeletons who are trying their damndest to not lose their sight.” You gave Sans a meaningful look. “If you hit such a skeleton in the face region, not only will you be benched but I will personally kick your coccyx so badly that you won’t sit down until February.” 

“Oh, is that why he’s wearing that helmet?” Anne asked.

Sans glowered at you from under the helmet-with-face-shield you made him wear in order to be allowed to participate at all. You winked at him. “Yep. He isn’t supposed to do activities that could make his crack worse, so you can imagine my irritation when he agreed to an all-out capture-the-flag battle of the captains.”

“My socket will be fine!”

“Anyway, let’s move on! Secondly, you may not enter any buildings or structures during the war. Third, no outside players may be used. Only skeletons will be participating this year! Fourth, the ref’s call is law. Anne and I will be fair and impartial, but if you argue with us like baby bones, I will send you to your room for the rest of the tournament. Fifth, if you are hit by a snowball or tagged by another team, you will take yourself to jail, which is right here. Anne and I are the all-time jail guards and referees so this is where we'll be. And finally… have fun!” You paused and looked around. “Any questions?” There weren’t any, so you pulled your airhorn from your inventory and held it up. “In exactly 10 minutes, I will blow the air horn and the tournament will begin. The winning team will be the first team that collects all three flags in their home base, which is the captain’s front porch. Good luck to you all!” With that, you blew the airhorn and the skeletons dispersed. 

You watched them go before pulling out the official Referee Tablet. Stretch set it up for you before the tournament. Everyone wore a tracker similar to the ones that your team wore on missions, so you had access to everyone’s vitals and location. You also had coms for each team in case you needed to get in touch. Each team had their own channel and everyone was soul-locked so that they couldn’t switch channels. Alphys oversaw the set up so that Stretch couldn’t cheat. It was actually very impressive how quickly they were able to get the tech together considering that the skeletons came up with this idea barely a week ago.

The last movie night, hosted by Blue, featured yet another war film. The three Former Captains of the Royal Guard began arguing about tactics and… Well, it escalated. And by “escalated” you meant “turned into an all-out screaming match that you thought might end in some shiny new LV for at least one of them.” Someone came up with the idea of a capture the flag tournament to determine who the superior captain was. You were pretty sure that Red and/or Comic was behind the idea, and you were 100% sure that it was Red’s weird alcohol that got them drunk enough to agree. Apparently being drunk didn’t prevent them from divvying up the skeletons into teams and drawing up a map of New New Home to decide who got what territory. 

Each team ended up with four skeletons. Team Black included your beloved boyfriend plus his three housemates (Mutt, Neo, and Hobbes). Team Blue included Blue, the Horrortale bros, and Papyrus. Team Edge ended up with his immediate family (Stretch, Red, and Comic). The negotiations over Stretch were fierce, but they finally decided that Stretch had to be on Team Edge because he lived with him. Otherwise, he would have been exiled to his brother’s house until after the battle. Stretch made it very clear that his libido would not handle that well, everyone got grossed out (especially his older brother) and it was decided that he would be on Edge’s team.

That left you, of course. You were a little annoyed that your boyfriend didn’t exactly try to get you on his team. He later claimed that he didn’t forget your existence; he just thought that you would be an excellent referee. He did bake you your favorite cake the next day, though, so you were pretty sure he accidentally forgot that you existed.

Once plans were set, you texted Anne to see if she would be interested in co-refereeing with you. The two of you had texted back and forth quite a bit since you got coffee, but your busy schedules prevented you from hanging out again. Luckily she had the day off and was interested in skeletal shenanigans. 

"So," she said, "we just guard the jail and make sure they don't cheat?"

"Mostly. But I do have this." You fished around in the back of the Jeep and produced a

"Drone! That’s awesome! I gotta come over more often. Can I fly it?" Anne gasped.

"Yep. Here's a tablet that is synched to the camera. We're gonna use it to watch them get up to shit in high def."

She grinned like a maniac. "Man, being the ref is freaking awesome."

“See how you feel when this is all over. I can’t imagine we will get through this without at least one skeleton trying to skewer us.”

You and Anne curled up in the front seat of the Jeep, you with the Referee Tablet and Anne with the drone’s tablet. “Who do you wanna spy on first?” she asked.

“Mmm… Tell you what, why don’t you decide? You’re the guest and all.”

She poked her head up over the top of the Jeep to look around. “I guess let’s see your boyfriend’s team,” she said. “He is a cutey, isn’t he?”

You grinned as you imagined Sans’s reaction to Anne calling him a cutey. “Yeah, he’s pretty cute.”

She directed the drone into the air and the two of you watched as it zipped in the direction that Team Black went. The camera was incredible just like you knew it would be. You ‘borrowed’ the thing from Alphys and she didn’t use subpar tech. 

“There he is,” you said.

“Is he in a tree?” Anne asked. “How did he even get up there so fast?”

You gave her a deadpan look and said, “Well, he can teleport so…”

“He can teleport?! How many of them can do that?”

“Uh… five?”

“That’s insane! I guess I figured Jupiter’s brother was the only one who could do that. Man, that’d be an awesome super power. I’d only have to get up like three minutes before my shift.”

“It is pretty kick ass,” you admitted. “Of course, teleporting is outlawed in capture the flag, but since we can’t  _ prove _ he did it, I guess we’ll let it go. This time.”

The two of you lapsed into silence, watching as Sans perched in the top of a tree like some sort of weird skeletal bird. You flipped the Referee Tablet to Team Black’s channel so you could hear what they were saying to one another.

“Flag is secure,” Mutt said in a bored drawl.

“Fantastic,” Sans said.

“‘M not so sure ‘bout the hidin’ place,” Mutt said.

“What do you mean?”

“Uh… I mean, the alley behind the Temmie Shop? Kinda poor taste to use Stretch’s phobia against ‘im ain’t it?” Mutt pointed out.

Sans huffed. “Well! Believe me, any of the other captains would do the same thing if given the opportunity.”

“Bet Edge wouldn’,” Mutt muttered.

You winced. That really did suck of Sans, even if the rules didn’t specifically prohibit it. You glanced over at Anne, whose brows were furrowed. “He, uh, is usually better than that,” you said slowly.

“Letting his competitive spirit get the best of him,” she said knowingly. “I get it.”

You watched as Neo and Hobbes snuck up to the very edge of the border between Sans and Edge’s territories. “Movin’ in,” Neo said. They skirted one of the houses and ended up on the edge of Comic and Red’s yard. “‘Ppears ta be a masked hole in da yard,” Neo whispered.

“Any traps?” Sans barked.

“Hobbes sees a few.”

“Any sign of the enemy?”

“Not yet.”

Sans made a tsking noise that was pretty impressive for a being that didn’t have a tongue (at least not unless he conjured it). “Proceed with caution.”

“Comic’s ‘ere,” Mutt whispered in a low growl. 

“Ooooh,” Anne murmured, moving the controls so that the drone flew towards the Temmie shop. You couldn’t see Mutt on the screen, but you could see Comic. Well, you could see his eye lights anyway. He was pressed against the wall of the Tem shop, peering into the alley. You watched the eye lights lower closer to the ground (probably kneeling to look under the dumpster) Then, the eye lights contracted into pin pricks before--

“See somethin’ ya like there, Com?” Mutt said. Moments later, you could see both Comic and Mutt as they wrestled out onto the main sidewalk. There was a hazy purple glow around Comic. You quickly switched over to Team Edge’s coms, thus confirming your suspicions: Mutt was using magic to keep Comic from talking to his team. The line was totally silent; they had no idea that Comic was not only under attack, but had found the flag.

A huge boulder of a snowball dumped on top of Comic and Mutt stood up, dusting off his holey jeans and fluffy jacket. “Tagged ya,” he said. “Go to jail.”

Comic moved his mouth to say something to Mutt, then realized he was still under the influence of Mutt’s muting magic. He made a very crude gesture at Mutt before pulling himself out of the snow and beginning his trudge over to you. You dutifully muted his com so that he couldn’t contact his team. That was part of the deal; whenever someone got tagged, they lost contact with their team. Stretch even set up a little light on the tablet to let you know when someone got tagged if you weren’t watching.

“That was pretty entertaining,” Anne admitted, “but I was hoping for more… shenanigans, I guess? I keep hearing about these kooky skeletons and all the bullshit they get up to. I guess I thought it would be less… tame?”

“Trust me, kiddo, you’ll get to see some crazy shit ‘fore the day’s over,” Comic said. He let himself into the jail cell (which looked suspiciously like the one that Frisk’s school always used for their school carnivals) and flopped onto the ground.

“You okay?” Anne asked.

“He’s fine,” you said.

“Aw, your concern is touchin’,” he said with a grin.

“How’d you know the flag was there?” Anne pressed.

Comic sat up to look at her, then shrugged. “‘M good at readin’ people.”

“So… you… what? Looked at her boyfriend and knew that he hid the flag by the Tem shop?”

You spun around and narrowed your eyes at him. “You didn’t use the Judge did you?”

Comic barked out a bitter laugh. “If I’da used the Judge, I’d be curled up in the corner o’ that alley tryin’ not to see every sin in New New Home. There’s a reason the Judgement Hall was so damn big an’ isolated Underground.”

You winced. “Sorry. Sorry, I knew better than to ask that.”

“‘S fine, kid. Don’ worry ‘bout it.”

Anne looked between the two of you and kept opening her mouth like she wanted to ask, but her empathic sense must have been tingling, warning her that it would only upset everyone. Instead, she turned back to the tablet. “How long do you think it’ll take them to notice he’s here?”

“His collared is pretty intense; probably he’s already noticed.”

“Heh,” Sans chuckled. “Yuh, Red’s always keepin’ an  _ eye out. _ ”

“Let’s see what his team’s up to,” you suggested.

Anne flew the drone to Edge’s territory. It didn’t take long to find the edgy skeleton himself. Similar to his Swapfell counterpart, he was perched in a tree with little binoculars pointed towards Sans’s territory. You switched coms over in time to hear, “Ellie will have our hides if we teleport! No cheating, brother!”

Red made a rude noise and said, “Ain’ scared o’ her.”

You pressed the button that let you talk to the other team and leaned clase. “You sure about that, Meatball?”

He sputtered and you grinned. He hated that nickname; it never failed to piss him off every time you used it. Needless to say, you loved it. “Gods! ‘M not gonna teleport! Go babysit someone else.”

You glanced over your shoulder at Comic and your grin shifted from playful to malicious in a split second. “I  _ am _ babysitting someone else,” you said in a singsong voice. 

“The fuck you mean by that?”

“Just that I have a  _ very cute _ skeleton held captive here. You should try to rescue him.”

“What’re ya on about, ya--”

“Report,” Edge growled. 

“I’m deep in Black’s territory but I don’ got nothin’.” Red growled.

“Same. I wish I was deep in your territory instead if ya know what I mean, angel baby pie,” Stretch said flirtily.

“No,” Edge said flatly.

“Sorry, I think Sansy’d get annoyed, honey bun,” Red said. There was a brief pause, then Red said, “Sans?”

Another beat of silence.

“He was supposed to be in the northern section of Black’s territory,” Edge said. “Anybody got eyes on him?”

Red snarled. “‘M headed that way,”

“Red--”

“I’mma go see if I can find him,” Red insisted.

Edge gave in with an irritable sigh. “Don’t get captured.”

The camera picked Red up moving quickly--dare you say he was  _ running-- _ and, though you couldn’t see Mutt anymore, you waited anxiously to see how  _ that _ battle turned out.

“Hey, Comic,” you said. When you glanced over your shoulder, you realized he was watching the drone tablet with a cute lovestruck look on his face, his hand absently running over the collar that Red gave him. 

_ Your heart. _

“Comic, he’s  _ running _ to try to find you. I didn’t even know Red  _ could _ run,” you said.

You almost wished that you hadn’t spoken because, as soon as you did, the wall of apathy fell back into place. He noticed the dumb lovestruck expression he was making and his hand that wandered to his neck without permission. He forced himself to shove the rogue hand into the pocket of his hoodie and averted his eye lights. “‘E jus’ doesn’t wanna let his bro down,” Comic muttered.

“Where’s my collared, asshole?” Red yelled, drawing your attention back to the tablet. He and Mutt were engaged in what you could only describe as the single most intense snowball fight you had ever seen. 

“‘E really is an asshole,” Mutt hollered back

Snowballs were flying so fast that you could barely see them and the two monsters were nearly blurs as they dodged. It was moving so fast that you couldn’t even get a bead on who was winning the fight.

“Back up’d be great!” Mutt hollered into his own com. 

“That’s right, garbage fire!” Red growled. “‘S whatcha get for messin’ wit’ Sans!”

Red reared back to pelt Mutt with snowballs and, just for a second, you saw Mutt’s eye lights snuff out, a sure sign that he was in over his head. Then, before he could deliver the death blow, a snowball nailed Red in the back of the head. He froze and looked over his shoulder.

“Although he tends to be irritating in general, my brother actually didn’t ‘mess with me’. I don’t require your vengeance,” your Sans said smugly. He stood in the center of the street with his plum-colored scarf billowing behind him, arms crossed over his chest, looking like some sort of epic hero. You weren’t ashamed to admit that your soul fluttered a little bit when you saw it.

“Okay,” Anne said, “I can see why you picked that one.”

You laughed and turned back to Comic. “Sorry, buddy. At least Red will be joining you in here!”

“Can’ believe Mutt managed to knock out both of us,” he muttered, crossing his arms. “Guess it’s up to the beanpoles to win it for Team Edge.”

“‘S fine,” Red said as he approached you. “I’mma poison his lunch at work on Monday.”

“Please don’t dust my boyfriend over a game of capture the flag,” you said.

“Aw, fine. Only for you, sweetheart.” Red slid into the jail and sidled up to Comic. He looked… Oh gods, was Red being shy?! He was scuffing his boot on the ground like a nervous middle schooler at a dance.

_ So cute. _

“Wanna see what their beanpoles are up to?” Anne asked. She seemed to recognize that your two prisoners needed privacy just then.

“Hells yeah.”

You kept listening in on their coms while Anne tried to maneuver the drone over to find them. 

“I ordered you not to get captured, asshole,” Edge grumbled mournfully.

“Ya know,” Stretch leered, “at least ya still get me to order around, cherry tart.”

“This channel is for official purposes only,” Edge growled, obviously irritated by the nickname.

“So’s the Scooby channel but Ellie an’ Black flirt on there all the time,” Stretch whined.

“Hey!” you cut in. “We don’t flirt on missions! And if we did, it would be sexy as hell so.”

“You absolutely do flirt on missions, and no one said it wasn;t sexy!”

“Argh! Mute channels!” Edge ordered and you heard them switch off their coms. You could still break through if there was an emergency, but you weren’t planning to use that feature. It truly was for emergencies and had only been installed in the Scooby coms after the Zombie Incident a few years back. Stretch was still salty about you and Sans turning your coms off on him, preventing him from warning you about the approaching horde. So far, he’d never used the power for evil and you didn’t want to open the door to that type of meddling.

When the camera finally found them, they were huddled together near their house. They seemed to be plotting something, but obviously you couldn't hear them. "Must be planning a jailbreak break," you observed. "Ready to kick some ass?"

"Definitely."

Before you could move into position, the capture warning lights went off beside Neo and Hobbes's names. You frowned and switched over to see what was up with them; perhaps they'd made a move on Blue's territory? Anne moved the drone to their location to observe as well. When you finally saw what was going on, you snorted. The Horrorfells were suspended about 15 feet off the ground, all jumbled together in a net.

"Well wellie well," Red said with a devilish grin, "looks like they found one o' our traps, Sansy."

"They can't cut their way out wit' magic," Comic added for your benefit. "Magic-proof rope."

Edge and Stretch walked into view, both looking extremely pleased with themselves. "Gotcha," Stretch said with an easy grin. "Jail time for you two."

"Can ya get us down?" Neo growled. He had a bit of an edge to his voice. You frowned. They’d only been on the surface for a few months; perhaps this whole ‘brutal, intense game of capture the flag’ thing was a little much for them? 

Edge seemed to agree with you, or at least didn’t want to leave them in the net any longer than necessary. He hoisted himself into the tree and used his pocket knife to cut the rope. Stretch turned their souls blue so they didn’t immediately succumb to gravity. He lowered them gently then watched in amusement as they fumbled their way out of the net.

"Teams Edge and Black have lost two players each," you observed. "What's Blue even up to?"

It didn't take long to find Blue's team with the camera. Blue and Jupiter were positioned at the edges of their zone, where they butted up against Edge and Sans's areas. They both appeared to be ready for an attack but weren't actually looking for the flag. Papyrus was further back in the territory, close to the boundary of New New Home. You figured he was probably guarding their flag. And Mars? Well--

"Wait, is he napping right now?!" Anne cried, aghast. And, indeed, he was. He was sprawled out on a bench near No Man's Land, but still in Blue's territory, and he appeared to simply be napping. "Wow," you said in a flat voice. "And that's the team that's currently winning."

She laughed. You smiled and waved as Neo and Hobbes approached you. They let themselves into the jail and leaned against the bars. Neo shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants and Hobbes quickly signed something to Red and Comic.

“Heh, yep; Mutt got us both,” Comic said.

“Still can’ believe it,” Red muttered.

You shook your head and turned back to Anne, intending to get her to move the drone or something, but you stopped when her head shot up suddenly.

“Shield now!” she ordered. Luckily, your years with the Scooby Gang really primed your reflexes, so you threw up a shield just in time to avoid a faceful of snow. You forced yourself to ignore the twang of pain in your soul at the magic usage, then looked around with narrowed eyes. You couldn’t see anyone but clearly someone was nearby. Perhaps they were hiding in the foliage by the duck pond…?

“It’s your boyfriend,” Anne said.

“How do you know?” you asked.

“He loves you a lot. It’s kinda gross.”

You felt yourself blush at that. “You can  _ feel _ his love from here?”

“Sure can. It’s the same way that I know that the two in the cage are also deeply in love.”

Red and Comic both squawked at the accusation, but you just ducked your head and smiled. Your boyfriend loved you so much that your empath friend could literally feel it radiating off of him. Like, you knew he loved you, but damn was it nice to have it confirmed from an outside and objective source.

“Focus up, Olivia Newton-John,” Anne said. “I can feel you getting all mushy over there. We need to defeat your lover boy.”

“But how will he win the big race with Grease Lightning?” you joked, but you moved around to the back of the jail. You kept the shield intact and scanned the treeline for any sign of movement.

“You know, my dear, it’s a cheap shot to use a shield in a snowball fight,” Sans called from somewhere behind you.

“Yeah, well, it’s also cheap to hide in the trees and use magic to chuck snowballs at people when they can’t see you,” you yelled back.

“Use magic? I didn’t use a drop of magic! That’s just my natural strength! I have an excellent arm.”

“Bullshit! There’s no way!”

“You doubt my strength?”

“Babe, I remember the summer that the Embassy tried to have a softball team,” you said. “You could barely throw to first base.”

“Jus’ like ‘e couldn’ get to first base before ‘e started datin’ Ellie,” Red muttered just loud enough that you heard.

“I! Was trying to restrain my strength! We did not want to frighten the humans!” Didn’t sound like Sans heard Red; he was just upset about your accusation of him having a bad arm. Excellent.

You heard the soft sound of a stick break to your right and spun towards it. You squinted to try to see the culprit, but there wasn’t anything immediately obvious. A bony hand grabbed your arm and you screamed and accidentally fired off a blast of magic. You looked over and saw Mutt holding your arm and grinning like a fool. “Gotcha, warden,” he said…

… As a snowball hit him smack in the face.

Anne grinned and wiped her hands on her pants. “I’ll thank you to release my partner and get in jail.”

“How’d ya--”

“Release my brother and his collared, fiends!” You peered around Mutt and saw Edge moving towards the jail at a frankly alarming speed. There was no sign of Stretch, you had time to realize, before Edge was bearing down on you with a snowball the size of a volleyball. You loosened your stance and prepared to dodge, but you never got the chance. In a spray of snow, Sans skidded out to intercept Edge. He easily sidestepped the less-than-graceful throw and held his hand out. Your eyes widened as you watched his violet magic swirl around the snow under his hand, drawing the snow up into a perfect snow scythe, all shimmering purple. He swung it at Edge, only for Edge to regain his footing and leap over it. Crimson magic created a matching scythe and Edge pirouetted in place to take a swipe at Sans. Sans dodged and the dance continued.

“Think they remember we’re here?” Anne whispered to you. Your only response was a snort. “They are absolutely loving life right now,” she added.

A glance told you that she was absolutely right. Even though they were both taking the capture the flag tournament a little too seriously for your tastes, their eye lights were both bright with joy. They were  _ living _ right now and it made you really happy to see. It’d been a long few months for everyone and these two deserved the chance to let go.

“Shield!” Anne yelped. You turned in time to see a volley of snowballs raining from somewhere. You raised your hands and tried to call up your magic, but you felt it fizzle at your fingertips as a tearing pain ripped through your chest. You went down in a torrent of snowballs.

Just. Breathe.

You’re. Okay.

Luckily falling down is pretty common when you get hit with a billion snowballs so you probably weren’t acting suspicious by taking an extra second on the ground trying to catch your breath. You wondered if Anne could feel your distress and desperately tried to send her a mental message to not make a big deal about it.

They were having a great time.

You could get this under control. You would get this under control.

A few more breaths and color seemed to return to the world. “--ory is mine, nyeh!” Stretch yelled. “Come on you two; you’re free!”

Comic and Red both slinked past you and you forced yourself to make a face at them. You didn’t trust your voice just yet; even though the pain was starting to ebb, you were still hurting. They both frowned at you for a moment but were quickly distracted by Stretch’s loud demands that they follow him. “Be sure to remember this, the day that I rescued you from wasting away in a prison cell,” Stretch said loftily. “I look forward to whatever gifts you give me. I will accept them with grace.”

“I’ll give ya a gift,” Red muttered before making a rude gesture at Stretch. 

“So you were the distraction, my old friend?” Sans called to Edge as the two continued to fight each other.

Edge smirked. “Of course. Surely you don’t think that it would really take me this long to defeat--”

In a surprise move, Sans perfectly parried Edge’s strike before jabbing his scythe forward and catching Edge straight in the face. 

“You were saying?” Sans asked sweetly. Yeah, there was that asshole voice you liked so much.

Edge sputtered and scrubbed at his sockets, trying desperately to get the snow out. He glowered at Sans, who just looked back at him serenely before darting past you to grab his teammates. Mutt was doubled over in laughter and Neo was smiling. Hobbes’s eye lights were bright as well. “Looks like I got some coms to turn back on,” you muttered. You fiddled with the tablet until you were sure that everyone who was supposed to have coms did have them.

“Excuse me, Miss Referees.”

You glanced around and saw Papyrus standing in front of you. “Where the hell’d you come from?” you asked.

“Oh, he’s got some serious smug energy,” Anne said.

“Indeed I do,” Papyrus preened. “If the two of you would be so kind as to follow me, Captain Blue has something he would like to show you at his home. Actually, feel free to call the other two teams over as well. They will want to see this.”

You almost told him to just tell them himself; after all, they were all gathered near you. But when you looked up, the other teams were gone. “Damn, those guys move fast,” you muttered. You knew that, obviously, but you always forgot in moments like this. “I’ll call them I guess?”

You looked at Anne for confirmation but she just shrugged at you. You took a few more steadying breath, willing your voice to not give away the pain you were in. Finally, you hit the master channel switch so they could all hear you. “Hey guys, Blue is requesting a time out and to all meet at his house.”

“How do we know that this isn’t a trap?” Sans asked.

“Uh… because I’m the ref and I can’t trap you? And Blue can’t trap me?”

“I will agree if Edge does,” Sans said.

You sighed. They couldn’t hear each other due to the soul-locked technology, so you were going to have to play telephone between the two of them. Even you couldn’t turn off the soul-lock so you were going to have to just deal with it. 

“Edge, Sans says he’s only going if you do,” you said.

“Very well. I do not fear the little blueberry.”

“Great. See you there. Sans? Edge said he’ll join us,” you said. 

You followed an impossibly happy Paps across the park to Blue’s house. The skeleton himself was leaning on the post of his porch with Jupiter grinning and bouncing on his toes beside him. Mars was… Still napping on the bench, probably, because he wasn’t on the porch. You glanced back towards the street and saw that, yes, he was napping in the same spot he had been earlier.

“Thank you so much for coming!” Blue said. “I am honored!”

_ “We _ are honored,” Jupiter corrected.

Anne gave Papyrus a weird look, but you weren’t sure why. She must have been sensing something; you’d have to ask her later. Blue and Papyrus’s relationship continued to vex you and you were going to figure out what was going on with them one way or another. And if that way was getting your empath to read their feelings, then so be it. You weren’t above playing dirty if you had to and your skeletal gossip buddies were coming up empty handed.

Slowly, cautiously, the other two teams filtered into the yard. Blue greeted them exactly as he had you. 

“Why’re we here, bro?” Stretch asked warily. Years of experience with his brother’s ways meant that he knew better than to trust his brother when traps may be involved.

“Oh I simply wanted to show you something.”

“Well…?” Stretch said, drawing out the word and circling his hand in a ‘go ahead’ motion.

Blue made a show of opening his inventory, fishing around in there, and then slowly withdrawing two strips of cloth: one crimson and one purple.

Team Black and Team Edge immediately choked on nothing.

“How did you--”

“Those must be fake! It’s impossible!”

“And anyway, ya don’ have yers up here so ya didn’ win anyway,” Red pointed out smugly.

“Yes, that’s true. Mars?”

All heads swiveled to watch Mars sit up and stretch, then reach down and grab something under the bench. He stood up and moseyed over to the group. By the time he finally got to you, you were pretty much ready to tell him to just teleport over, the rules be damned, but that’s, like, the opposite of what refs do. Watching Edge and Sans try not to melt down while they waited nearly made it worth it.

Finally, Mars arrived at the porch and you all got to see what he brought: a blue strip of cloth. “Glad y’all made it,” he said with a shit eating grin. “My energy was really starting to  _ flag _ there.”

Jupiter and Papyrus both screeched but their hearts weren’t really in it. Sans and Edge looked like they were about to de-spine the skeleton, however, so you took over. “Wait did you sleep out there, just laying on top of the flag? You knew no one would wake you because you’re super irritable when you’re pissed, right?”

Mars grinned. “Baby Blue’s good at prediction’ y’all.”

“Correct,” Blue preened, “which is why I am here. I knew that the two of you would view me as less of a threat and deal with one another first. Then, once you were out of the way, I could simply waltz over to your territories and get your flags. It was beyond simple, really.” HIs shrug didn’t quite hide his smug happiness.

Both Sans and Edge stood completely slack-jawed staring at their fellow Former Captain of the Royal Guard. “That’s…” Sans said, but he clearly lost where the sentence was going and fell quiet again.

“We miscalculated,” Edge said.

“Indeed,” Sans agreed quietly.

“No matter. Next year will be a decisive victory for the captain of the Underfell guard,” Edge said.

“Ha! I will wipe the floor with your scarf!” Sans shot back.

“Boys! We aren’t even done with this year!” you chided. They both got quiet, but you could see them kicking at each other out of the corner of your eye. “I am proud to announce that Team Blue is the winner of the Captain’s Capture the Flag Competition of Champions!” You led everyone in a round of applause. Stretch played the theme from some video game on his phone so there was an epic soundtrack in the background as Team Blue all gathered for a hug. Even Mars was smiling as his brother yanked him into the little huddle. 

“Congratulations are in order,” Edge said. “Blue, where would you like dinner? The bill is on Black and I.”

“We deserve it after how we underestimated you,” Sans said. He sounded like he was being held at gunpoint when he said it, but that’s pretty much how he always sounded when he shared Feelings.

Blue’s eyes turned to stars at that declaration and he ran over to hug Sans and Edge. The two edgelords stiffened under his grip, but were able to gently pat him on the back to return the hug. It was cute and it made you want to take a picture--

“Got it,” Stretch said in your ear. You glanced over and he held out his phone, revealing the adorable picture he took of the three captains hugging.

“You’re the best,” you told him.

“I know, thanks.”

“Alright, let’s get dinner. I don’ like bein’ hungry,” Mars said.

“Anne, you coming?” you asked.

“Sure,” she said.

Everyone divvied up into cars and it ended up being just you and Anne in your Jeep for the ride. You didn’t mind at all; the two of you talked and laughed like it hadn’t been forever since you hung out. 

It felt good. Some things never change, and loving talking to Anne seemed to be one of them.

You pulled into Blue’s choice of restaurant--a little mom and pop place on the outskirts of town--and started to get out of the Jeep. Before you could, Anne caught your arm. You looked over at her, confused.

“I, uh, know something’s wrong with your soul,” she said bluntly.

You felt the color drain from your face. “It’s fine.”

“I felt how scared you were and how much pain you were in. It’s definitely not fine. What’s going on?” You looked away and tried to think of an answer that would appease her but wouldn’t actually be the truth, but she spoke again before you could come up with something. “You don’t have to tell me, but can you at least tell me that you’re doing something about it? You’re getting it treated?”

When you didn’t answer that either, her face fell. “Okay, listen. I know that I just got back into your life and I have no rights here--”

“That’s not--” you tried to interrupt, but she kept talking over you.

“BUT I am not about to watch you kill yourself. I backed off once when you were in danger. I won’t do it again.” Her face softened a little and she took your hand in hers. “Sans doesn’t know, right?”

You shook your head.

“I figured. I’ll make you a deal. You get it looked at by a professional, and I won’t tell him.”

You jolted at that ultimatum. “You can’t tell him! Please!”

“Then get it looked at.”

You swallowed. “I don’t even know who to ask.”

“How about I do some checking for you? I know a whole lot of doctors and healers from work. I could see if anyone knows someone good?”

You swallowed and nodded. “Yeah. I guess that’s okay. But please don’t tell anyone.”

“As long as you get treatment, I won’t.” She held out her pinkie to you and you nodded and linked yours with it. “Now that’s over with, let’s go get some grub,” she said, trying to inject some lightheartedness into her voice.

You took a deep breath and climbed out of the Jeep, then plastered on a smile that you hoped would fool your family better than it fooled Anne. It was such a fun day, after all, and your soul was fine. Totally fine.

***

Maps! 

[ Fig. 1: General Map of New New Home ](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BrO5adCgawXnH_5U5W8yHb6Hop3KEqd8/view?usp=sharing)

[ Fig. 2: Capture the Flag Territories Map ](https://drive.google.com/file/d/15PHn8x62b7_iQ6YLAcMr9TNGtqG9t26C/view?usp=sharing)


End file.
